Dear BDSMBadAdvice,
Months ago, I agreed to help my friend with her play piercing class. She anticipated a very large turnout and wanted another experienced piercing top to assist participants. She agreed to pay me a percentage of the proceeds for my help.
Unfortunately, I came down with strep throat and a sinus infection a few days ago. The class is tomorrow night and I will surely still be highly contagious. Obviously, it would be extremely risky to pierce people while sick, but I really want that money.
Is there some way I can still do the class with a clear conscience?
Sick Sick Fuck
Dear Sick Sick Fuck,
The key to selfishness without guilt is to adopt beliefs that allow you to rationalize what you want to do. In your case, you should convert to a religion that denies that infectious diseases are caused by viruses and bacteria. Christian Scientists believe that illnesses are caused by the mind. All you have to do is take lots of medication to cover up the symptoms so you don’t inadvertently plant the idea of illness in anyone’s mind. If anyone gets sick after attending the class, it’s their own fault for not praying enough.
Don’t worry about your new religion preventing you from having a good time at dungeon parties. Remember the 2nd Commandment: “Thou shalt pick and choose which parts of thy religion thou shalt follow.” This is the commandment that allows Evangelicals to denounce homosexuals with a mouthful of bacon while wearing their cotton/polyester blend “What Would Jesus Do?” t-shirts. Just adopt the one aspect of Christian Science that makes your life easier and ignore the rest.
Another approach is to integrate medical play into the class. Needles are often used in medical play scenes, so this justification is quite plausible. Just tell your friend that you are introducing the risk of hospital-acquired infection for the sake of realism. She will appreciate the extra effort, as will the edge players in the audience.
Follow this advice and you will be able to put your entire community at risk without even a miniscule twinge of guilt.
Jonathan Byrel Moore is a collared boy and switch in the San Francisco Bay area. Though he is dangerously unqualified to dispense advice on BDSM, kink, Leather, or any other topic, he enjoys giving it anyway. When he isn’t busy being a bad influence at dungeon parties, he drops little brown pellets of wisdom via Twitter, Facebook and FetLife.
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