News from Washington DC – British Lucky Paul’s Legendary Fetish Parties

Some time ago in Las Vegas, at an internet trade show, the dreary rumble of geeky business conversation was shattered as police whistles blasted and uniformed officers burst onto the scene and grabbed a couple of squealing girls in rubber dresses. This caused a bit of a stir. It caused even more of a stir as the officers bent the girls over and spanked their backsides soundly, the ‘criminals’ giggling and and wriggling – yet making no attempt at all to get away… Read more

Online and Offline, That is The Question

Dear Patrick,
I recently struck up an acquaintance with a young lady online who said that she had four years of experience as a “sensuous female dominant.” Because she talked a good game, I agreed to meet her, and it was a disaster. Or at least a huge disappointment. She finally admitted to me that her experience had all been with online domination. I tried to explain that you can’t compare just talking about BDSM with actually doing it. She got quite offended and told me that her online slaves were genuine submissives, and her relationships with them were real. We agreed to drop it, but lately I find that I miss her and almost wish to send her email again. Am I crazy, lonely, or stupid?
Bottom Boy Read more

Skin Two Fetish Yearbook 2009

This is something entirely new in our 25 years of fetish publishing. The Skin Two Fetish Yearbook is a super quality ‘coffee table’ hardbound book, with even higher production values and more quality content than ever… Read more

Six of the Best is Best

Dear Patrick
Do you find, anymore, that people understand the distinction between a caning and a flogging? I detest leather whips. They have an ugly appearance and make a barbaric racket. What I want is something sleek and tidy, something civilized and yet impressive—the cane. But it seems to have become just one more implement in a whole arsenal of weapons used to attack the human body. I suppose I am—Old-Fashioned

Dear Old-Fashioned: Would you like to come over to my house tonight?
I can’t speak for the majority of British players, but I do know that in America, the cane is widely feared and perhaps even stigmatized. The leather whips that you think are barbaric are seen as “civilized and yet impressive.” Relatively few people will agree to be caned. It’s seen as one of the most painful things you can endure, in between a cat-o’-nine-tails and a bullwhip. Even tops who use canes find that they have to warm up the bottom with lesser equipment before they can dish out six of the best.
(Do y’all really say that, or is it just a convention of 1960s American porn about decadent British gentlemen?)

The first time I picked up a cane, I knew I had found my heart’s desire. There are in fact a wide range of sensations that can be created with a cane. But it also provides a merry-hell-come-to-daddy pain that I prize because it comes in two parts. As the nerve is compressed, it signals pain, and as it expands, there is a second chord of agony. That swish is music to my ears.

I do understand that not everyone can simply bend over and take stripes from the awesome and mind-altering, flexible beauty. Those who can not only endure it but relish it are a rare breed. And I want all of their phone numbers. So I salute you, O.F., and wish that Americans weren’t such a big bunch of sissy pants.

Patrick Califia is a therapist in private practice in Northern California. His practice includes internet consultations as well as face-to-face psychotherapy. He is a prolific author who has published widely about BDSM and sexual politics. Patrick’s books include Macho Sluts, Sensuous Magic, and Public Sex: The Politics of Radical Sex.

This column is not intended to offer medical or legal advice. It is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you need medical or legal advice, see a doctor or lawyer!

Do you have a question for Patrick?
Please feel free to leave your comments below or you can reach him at patrick@skintwo.com

Xplore: The Art of Lust, Berlin 24-26 July 2009

A three day event held annually in Berlin, Xplore 2009 will build on the themes of BODY ART LOVE advancing the traditional ideas of love and relationships by weaving them with creative sexuality, BDSM and Body art. Read more

The English Mansion

Presiding over the Mansion is the Leather Queen – Mistress Sidonia von Bork, lover of leather, uniforms, boots & gloves with Mistress Darla & Lady Nina Birch both in residence at The English Mansion. Read more

Esinem: Rope Master

Ever thought of taking up an evening class? Woodwork perhaps, or pottery? Well, how does Japanese rope bondage grab you? Stephen Albrow finds out more… Read more