John Updike once referenced ‘a discord of unspoken expectations’. How should you avoid it, when seeing Pro-Domme? Well, try washing and using a deodorant. Don’t arrive drunk or drugged and show up when you’ve booked instead of bottling it. This may seem obvious but you would be surprised how many people ignore these seemingly self evident truths.  Here’s Mistress Keane, www.mistresskeene.com, with some advice for potential clients. “Do think with your brain and not your cock. Arrange to see her at a convenient time, plan ahead for the session, relax, give up control to her when you meet her and let her as a competent, experienced Domme take the lead.” To which I would add, as with all women, try belting up for a change and seeing what they think. Be prepared to listen. At length. It works wonders.
I’ve never paid for sex, except in the usual currency of heartbreak, life derailment and losing the will to live. So this is a little like Anne Widdecombe writing an article entitled “Gagging For It! My threesome with two well hung studs!” There would be a lot of conjecture and none of her own experience. However, I did sell various lewd corrective services once upon a time and I gained enough experience to be able to share some wisdom.
While it is entirely appropriate, indeed advisable, to discuss a session before arriving, abbreviated text messaging is disrespectful and when it’s obviously a covert attempt at cyber-sex it is an abomination before the Lord. Not gr8, m8. Professionals in whatever sphere require your best English. If you can’t be bothered to write properly why would they bother to read it? And while they will answer serious questions in order to facilitate a session, timewasters are legion and Pro-Dommes have heard it all before and then some. Ring a Mistress at a sensible time, office hours or early evening, not late at night when you’re in a sexual delirium but she may be reading Mills and Boon, watching a Jane Austen adaptation, dreaming of Mr Right, eating too much chocolate or tucked up in bed with Mr Cuddles, her teddy bear.
After discussing your desires, (not too explicit too quickly either), and what equipment and scenarios are available you may decide that what is on offer doesn’t suit. In which case there is no shame in saying that you will consider the matter and thanking her for her time. But you will burn in hell next to Saddam Hussein if you make an appointment you don’t intend keeping. Do not be alarmed if a man answers the phone, it could be her tranny maid or a slave looking after the phone while she’s in a session.
While we’re on telephone etiquette, turn your mobile off before the session. You’re about to experience a unique blend of sex, violence and religion. You are hoping to get into a deep psychosexual trance state. This will be one of the most intense experiences you will ever encounter. You don’t need any interruptions.
Once you have booked, a little gift such as flowers, Greene and Black chocolate or good wine will help make a good impression and grease the wheels of commerce. Look your best. You may not have fetish gear but try not to show up looking like a total nerd. Trainers should not be worn in any fetish context, indeed they shouldn’t be worn at all, except during sport. Sandals were rubbish in biblical times and are totally unacceptable in a sexual context. It is regrettable that some elderly men strip naked and masturbate in fetish clubs, it is tragic that they wear sandals to do so. Wear boots if you’ve got them, the kinkier the better. Sportswear and hoodies don’t show any respect. Dress casually by all means, military gear is always good, but whatever you wear, all clothes and body parts must be spotless, shaved and deodorised.
If you’re attempting androgyny or cross dressing consider shaving your body hair. Sportsmen have been doing this for some years now so straight friends or your partner will not immediately assume you’re kinky or effeminate. You don’t make it as a tranny just by wearing panties or stockings. If you try harder you will get more out of it.
Of course, self-styled worms may wish to look hideous to exacerbate their self hatred. I still haven’t recovered from the sight of an ashtray-eater and ballkick receiver who showed up to a fetish club with a Max Wall hairdo – bald on top, sides grown long – wearing a scruffy hoodie and dirty white plimsoles. With any luck someone has put this specimen out of his misery because such people are a ‘vexation to the spirit’, as Ronnie Kray once said. 

Share on Facebook