Miss Makeover: Sodomy is Satan’s Way of showing he loves us.

I have to fuck a  tranny with my strap-on tonight, ‘Antonia’ aka Tony from Tooting, doing to him what ‘American Psycho’ Brett Asshole Ellis does to the English language. Although the money won’t be as good and I won’t be dwelling compulsively on the torture of women. Still, that’s where the money is eh Brett? You pathetic little dweeb.
I have a number of gorgeous silicone implements we might as well call ‘tools’. These fit into a gorgeous custom leather holster which straps around my pelvis and thighs. Once I’m tooled up, bottle of lube nearby, submissive male pleading to be cherry-picked, I am close to being happy in my work.
Geezer is helping me prepare, making it clear that he, too, could do with being fucked. It’s been far too long since the last time and he’s ready to take it like a man. That is to say, like a greedy cockslut begging for more. Much as I love it, you have to limit strap-on time, otherwise I’d never get fucked and that would never do.
“Do you have to do that?” I ask Geezer. He is qualching orange juice straight out of the carton (Qualch – to drink from a waxed cardboard carton, especially greedily or messily. It might be of ‘dubious’ origins but it’s a wizard word. Sounds right. Looks right.)
“What?” he says. Light dawns. “Oh for fuck’s sake…’
“And do you have to say that all the time?”
“Shall I be all girly?” Geezer is suddenly en femme, about as accurate as most of my clients. “Oh my God! Oh my God!” he shrieks, hopping around wide eyed, perhaps a little too good at being camp for his own peace of mind.
“Why is it that hard men are always really good at imitating Gays?” I ask, although it’s risking some severe chastisement.
“Because they’re all secretly arse!” says Geezer, grabbing me somewhere rude and proceeding to say and do a lot of things that they wouldn’t like on the Guardian women’s page. Being a real girl rather than a frumpy student I am soon keen for more, after a token show of resistance, just so he can feel even more manly by ‘overpowering me’.
By the time we’ve finished my tranny is knocking on the door. There is no rest for the wicked. Although Geezer can now smugly watch men kicking a ball around while I slave away next door, ploughing a particularly well-used furrow.

The Latex Repair Kit

Here’s a useful new product from Bella Black designs, the Latex Repair Kit… Bella was an enthusiastic fetish clubber in Los Angeles, loved wearing rubber and became a fetish model, as well as holding down a job as Dungeon Manager for one of LA’s top dominatrixes. She says “We were always ripping vacbeds, clothing and other latex accessories. I began repairing and modifying the latex around the studio and also my own that had torn while I was out on the town. Through word of mouth I started building a private clientele of models and dominatrixes. The idea for the Latex Repair Kit was born! “

Bella’s kit allows people who like wearing latex to easily repair their ripped and torn clothing, as well as modify their items with colourful appliqués. There’s an array of colours and thickness. The standard kit retails for $25 and special orders are accepted for a small extra charge.

This is just the handy product that you’ll need when you get your favourite latex catsuit out to go partying and then discover an annoying little tear. Get Bella’s Latex Repair Kit and be prepared!

www.latexrepairkit.com

P.S. – yes, that’s Bella’s photo…

Stiletto Party at The F Cub, London

The F Club is almost unique in the fetish world. They don’t rent premises for the night, like just about everyone else – they actually have their own building, so they control the environment totally. At The F Club, everyone you deal with, from the doorman to the bar manager are all permanent staff under the control of your hosts, Brian and Caroline. This makes a big difference – other clubs have to deal with whatever security, bar staff and management they are lumbered with at assorted venues and it can be a nightmare. That’s why many fetish clubs move around as much as they do.

Kinky For Reel: BDSM videos by Freak Clubwear

Freak Clubwear is now 7 years old as a full time business and was started with the idea of bringing high quality, fun and unique products to their customer. Their BDSM and fetish equipment and fashion accessories and jewelery are mostly designed and crafted by themselves in the UK.

Vicky and Cat have been performing at various fetish events for many years, demonstrating a wide range of skills, techniques and the fun of scening. This video is a sample of one their “How To” guides and more can be found on their website: www.freakclubwear.co.uk

BDSMBadAdvice: How do I earn my leather?

Dear BDSMBadAdvice,

I have long been interested in Leather but I only recently worked up the nerve to do anything about it. So I went to my city’s biggest leather store last week and bought over $2000 worth of leather items.

Last night, I proudly wore all my shiny new leather to a local leather bar. I was hoping to make some new friends who might teach me about Leather, or possibly even the Master of my dreams. Instead, a stranger lambasted me for wearing a bunch leather I clearly hadn’t earned. I was so embarrassed!

Before I go back to that bar and risk humiliation again, can you please tell me how I should earn my leather?

Closet Full of Unearned Leather

Dear Closet Full of Unearned Leather,

Yours is a common problem. Enthusiastic newbies often want to embrace every aspect of Leather culture with gusto, and leather stores are very happy to sell them lots of clothes and accessories. Sometimes, though, these stores don’t take the time to explain the rich symbolism behind every piece of leather. For this reason, a secret cabal of Leathermen has created universal procedures for earning each item.

The Bureau of Official Old Guard Protocols recommends questing for leather items. Go back to that Leather bar in your street clothes. Don’t worry about whether the bar has a dress code. Just tell the bouncer that you seek a quest. Seek an elder Leatherman with an orange question mark floating over his head. To earn a leather armband, he will have you kill a dozen level-10 zombies or bring him eight martinis. You will have to complete several lower-level quests before you are ready to earn bigger items like chaps. Some more challenging quests, like for a Master’s cap, require a party of up to five people. Also, it’s helpful to remember that you earn double experience if you’re rested.

An alternative method of earning leather is to shoplift from the leather store. This requires many of the same skills you’d use for questing, so the Bureau considers the two methods roughly equivalent. You will have to hide items in your body cavities, so again, it’s best to start with smaller items like gloves. With practice, you’ll be able to accommodate things like spanking benches and bondage beds.

When you go out wearing the leather you’ve earned by either of these methods, it’s important that everyone knows that you have the right to wear it. Leave on all the pricetags, and in the case of shoplifted items, the anti-theft devices. Also, be sure to wear all your clothes correctly. For example, true Leathermen only tuck in one side of their shirts. Go over your boots with very coarse sandpaper to give them a matte finish. Masters always wear lacy pink bras on their heads. Boys put a cigarette in each nostril.

You’ll never have to worry about being embarrassed at the leather bar ever again.

Jonathan Byrel Moore is a collared boy and switch in the San Francisco Bay area. Though he is dangerously unqualified to dispense advice on BDSM, kink, Leather, or any other topic, he enjoys giving it anyway. When he isn’t busy being a bad influence at dungeon parties, he drops little brown pellets of wisdom via Twitter, Facebook and FetLife.

Have a question you’d like to ask BDSMBadAdvice? Send an e-mail to BDSMBadAdvice@gmail.com.

BDSMBadAdvice: Should I pierce people when I’m sick?

Dear BDSMBadAdvice,

Months ago, I agreed to help my friend with her play piercing class. She anticipated a very large turnout and wanted another experienced piercing top to assist participants. She agreed to pay me a percentage of the proceeds for my help.

Unfortunately, I came down with strep throat and a sinus infection a few days ago. The class is tomorrow night and I will surely still be highly contagious. Obviously, it would be extremely risky to pierce people while sick, but I really want that money.

Is there some way I can still do the class with a clear conscience?

Sick Sick Fuck

Dear Sick Sick Fuck,

The key to selfishness without guilt is to adopt beliefs that allow you to rationalize what you want to do. In your case, you should convert to a religion that denies that infectious diseases are caused by viruses and bacteria. Christian Scientists believe that illnesses are caused by the mind. All you have to do is take lots of medication to cover up the symptoms so you don’t inadvertently plant the idea of illness in anyone’s mind. If anyone gets sick after attending the class, it’s their own fault for not praying enough.

Don’t worry about your new religion preventing you from having a good time at dungeon parties. Remember the 2nd Commandment: “Thou shalt pick and choose which parts of thy religion thou shalt follow.” This is the commandment that allows Evangelicals to denounce homosexuals with a mouthful of bacon while wearing their cotton/polyester blend “What Would Jesus Do?” t-shirts. Just adopt the one aspect of Christian Science that makes your life easier and ignore the rest.

Another approach is to integrate medical play into the class. Needles are often used in medical play scenes, so this justification is quite plausible. Just tell your friend that you are introducing the risk of hospital-acquired infection for the sake of realism. She will appreciate the extra effort, as will the edge players in the audience.

Follow this advice and you will be able to put your entire community at risk without even a miniscule twinge of guilt.

Jonathan Byrel Moore is a collared boy and switch in the San Francisco Bay area. Though he is dangerously unqualified to dispense advice on BDSM, kink, Leather, or any other topic, he enjoys giving it anyway. When he isn’t busy being a bad influence at dungeon parties, he drops little brown pellets of wisdom via Twitter, Facebook and FetLife.

Have a question you’d like to ask BDSMBadAdvice? Send an e-mail to BDSMBadAdvice@gmail.com.

Ask Patrick: Don’t upset the baby

Patrick: I was shocked and upset by your column about the married couple who were fighting about the husband’s involvement in adult baby activities. You stereotyped this fantasy as ‚”fetish‚” and pathologized it by saying it was the result of unmet developmental needs during early childhood. Then you proceeded to validate his wife for her intolerance toward her husband. If anything, you did an even better job of shaming him than his wife! How can you claim to write an expert’s point of view on our scene if you can’t educate yourself about the legitimacy of somebody else’s lifestyle. Presenting us as psychologically impaired and more self-centered than the sadists and masochists you repeatedly celebrate is disgraceful.–Baby Jenny

Dear Baby Jenny: I’m sorry that something I wrote upset you and made you feel judged or invalidated. That was not my intention. In retrospect, I wish I had phrased my answer more carefully and defined some of my terms.
You are certainly correct that the term ‚”fetish‚” has had negative connotations. In its original context, it was used to refer to sexual activity that was compulsive and pathological. Elsewhere, I have written about the fact that everyone (even those who are exclusively vanilla in their preferences) have erotic triggers and signals. But our culture validates the desire for things like big breasts or huge cocks. So nobody refers to these things as fetishes. But they are, Blanche, they are! When I use the term ‚”fetish‚” I am just referring to a sexual response to an inanimate object, a part of the body, or a detailed scenario. It’s meant to be value-neutral. I have a bunch of fetishes, including a fetish for caning quivering buttocks and pretty girls or boys dressed in corsets and high heels.
When I talked about the possible psychological origins of infantilism, I was trying to get this man’s wife to see that she had grounds for extending him some compassion and understanding. If the letter had been about masochism or some other kinky activity, I probably would have come up with some alternative reason for her to see somebody else’s sexuality in sympathetic terms. I sincerely apologize for any stigma that I might have reinforced. I should have picked some other way to make infantilism seem less frightening or strange to her.
I don’t know if it would repair your trust to let you know that I’ve topped people in scenes like this. It isn’t my exclusive favorite, but I do understand the appeal of age regression. People can be healed and very moved by the opportunity to be cared for completely, the same way that infants are cherished. I think infantilism makes people uncomfortable in part because an adult baby is very vulnerable and not trying to make themselves look good or be in control like a mundane adult. Maybe all of us are afraid to be that helpless or to let go and re-experience the fragmented consciousness and intense needs of a newborn. Even slightly older ‚”children‚” can be ridiculed. But we all have unfinished business from childhood. There’s some potent psychodrama waiting to happen there. Age play of all types may not look intense from the standpoint of pain or bondage, but there are many kinds of risk and many edges in the kinky world. One of those edges has to do with opening up to aspects of the self that are less mature, more spontaneous, perhaps naive or full of unquestioning love. Edge play can be emotional or psychological rather than solely physical.
Thank you for writing with a different opinion. I appreciate it when people let me know they are reading the column and have a reaction to it.

Patrick Califia is a therapist in private practice in Northern California. His practice includes internet consultations as well as face-to-face psychotherapy. He is a prolific author who has published widely about BDSM and sexual politics. Patrick’s books include Macho Sluts, Sensuous Magic, and Public Sex: The Politics of Radical Sex.

This column is not intended to offer medical or legal advice. It is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you need medical or legal advice, see a doctor or lawyer!

Do you have a question for Patrick?
Please feel free to leave your comments below or you can reach him at patrick@skintwo.com

Moritz Schell

The ballet world has recently been scandalously rocked by dancer Karina Sarkissova doing a sexy set in “Weiner” magazine. (The Austrians do have a sense of humour, it seems!) Here is one image, which I think is particularly lovely:

Karina Sarkissova is lovely, but what is exciting me the most is actually the photographer, Moritz Schell. I don’t know why I don’t yet know his work, but I’m a huge fan now! Here are a couple reasons:

It seems to me that if anyone is the heir apparent to my beloved Helmut Newton, it is Moritz Schell (which is just about as fun to say as “Helmut Newton”!)

More on the actual news item which led me to this, from the Telegraph.co.uk:

The management of the prestigious institutions says solo dancer Karina Sarkissova was axed after a series of provocative photos of her appeared in the September issue of the Austrian men’s fashion and lifestyle magazine “Wiener.”

A statement on Friday said she had already been reprimanded in May for nude shots that were taken in the opera house without permission and published in the June edition of “Penthouse.”

“She was fired on August 23 after this new publication,” Dominique Meyer, the opera’s director, said, “The ballet corps has been shocked by these new images which appeared in the sex section,” he added.

“On the cover of the magazine, you could read ‘The ballerina nude, the ballet as we love it,’” he said.

Sarkissova is an Austrian dancer of Russian origin. Born in 1983, she was trained at Russia’s famous Bolshoi Ballet and joined the Vienna Opera ballet in 2000.

Zille from SleekImages.net

The Rackmasters

After twenty five years of hand crafting limited edition grandfather clocks and other custom furniture, Master Carpenter Rod was commissioned to build a one-off piece of fetish furniture for a well known East Anglia dungeon. He was tasked with using the highest grade materials available and to come up with a design that was unique in style and appearance. A further request led Rod to do some market research and he has set up The Rackmasters company to cater for the upper end of the fetish furniture market. Read more

Jackson Rocco: Using the Fetish Map Pt 1

Ok. So when you go shopping on a Sunday do check the shops are actually open. I guess my girlfriend Charley and I were dazzled by the enticing gloop of red dots on the top right of the Fetish Map, around the Holloway Road area of London. But calm down, before you get excited and make a fetish pilgrimage to North London, they do represent just three shops.

We arrived at Showgirls at Holloway Road North London and voila!: the shutters were down. Then it started to rain. Wet, we trundled off dejected and checked our soggy Fetish Map: Fettered Pleasures were just down the road. Damn, also shut. Next door House of Harlot. Aww no, feck, shut again.

What were these people doing that was more interesting than servicing Charley and mine’s debauched needs? Read more

Next Page »