Japan Fetish Ball Tokyo

The Japan Fetish Ball is produced by the Tokyo Kink Society, Japan’s only non profit international group of people interested in fetish, bondage and domination. TKS is modelled along similar groups that exist in North America and Europe and produces a number of fetish theme events including the Oasis Lounge, TKS Underground and the annual Japan Fetish Ball.

After several years of rapid growth, this year’s Ball is moving to Christon Cafe Shinjuku, one of Tokyo’s largest club event venues! The venue is separated into a dance area, stage show area, dungeon / playroom, and a shopping bazaar showcasing independent Japanese and foreign fashion designers.

The Japan Fetish Ball, from the land where S&M, rope bondage and Gothic Lolita all originated, is one of the world’s most unique fetish balls and is distinctly oriental in its content and the conduct of guests.

This year’s Ball, November 14th 2009 features an exotic variety of performers, many never seen before in any western countries.

Shows

HANA IKE LIVE by Yuji Ueno:
Ueno San amazed audiences years ago with a shocking underground performance at Japan’s THE GATE when he celebrated the burial of his lovely model with a beautiful display of Ikebana art to a fetish and traditional Japanese historical fusion theme. Ueno san returns with an even more spectacular show in his Japan Fetish Ball debut performance!

SPECIAL AERIAL by Asagi Ageha:
Japan’s own lovely Asagi Ageha will star in her own performance at this year’s JFB, dancing through the sky in the spacious Christon Cafe in a beautiful display of aerial dance, acrobatics and visual art!

FANTASY UNDERGROUND by Tokyo Dolores:
Tokyo Dolores, a Japanese 5 member female fantasy and dance troupe will bring dance, exotic choreography and performance alive to the stage with their unique fusion of Japanese gothic-lolita and dark underground fetish camp culture!

ROSE NOIRE! (Japan)
Rose Noire was formed in 2006 by Louie (Vocal) and Jill (Violin), two former students of the University of Tokyo Instrumental Music Department. They are free from predefined genres and concepts and compose their own world in the image of their own existance and music.

AWE by DV8House! (Australia)
DV8House visits from Australia, and have performed around the world from Hellfire Sydney, to San Francisco as well as across Europe, including Athens, Berlin and London. This year, they join the Japan Fetish Ball with a special performance of high energy rope bondage, rigging and suspension that is not to be missed!

DJs

A04! (from * AUTHORITY FOUR * )!
A04’s mixes celebrate an electronic heritage that dates back to Kraftwerk, which has continued to diversify into the present.You can hear your favorite new wave, synth, futurepop, elektroclash, darkwave, ebm and industrial songs by your favorite artists as well as hear music for the first time that you will want to hear again.

MISTRESS MAYA! (from * MIDNIGHT * MESS * )!
DJ Mistress Maya calls from Midnight*Mess and Mechanical Slaves, some of Japan’s longest running and most well known Gothic fetish alternative underground events. She mixes a wicked blast of Dark Electro and Industrial Rock.

VJs

VJ KOKEKAKIKI!
VJ Unit Kokekakiki are a very talented VJ pair who have displayed their work at multiple underground and art events in Tokyo. Their imagery is distinctively Japanese, beautiful in its appearance and expression.

VJ FLYFLYFLY!
From Europe, VJ Flyflyfly has burst onto the Tokyo video art scene with his exciting imaginative work and artistic imagery. He returns to the 2009 Japan Fetish Ball after delivering a stunning 360 degree display of fetish projection art and video in last years dungeon playroom and goth industrial DJ space.

Art and Exhibition Galleries

As in previous years, there will be an art gallery and objet exhibition hall within the Japan Fetish Ball, exhibiting fetish and underground art works created by Japanese artists.

Dungeon Masters

Mistress Hijiri, Mistress Naomi and Tajima san will be this year’s Dungeon Masters, ensuring a safe and active night in the bondage playroom for all involved.

Sheesha Corner

The always very leggy and sexy Topaz will once again run the water-tobacco area, a stylish chillout lounge with a middle-eastern mediterranean feel.

Floor Models, Special guests!

Midori! (Japan / United States of America)
Starring in countless fetish balls all over the world and a famous author of several books on alternative lifestyles, Midori is based in San Francisco, California and is one of the worlds most famous fetish and nawa artists! This is her special homecoming..

JAPAN FETISH BALL Campaign girls and Mistresses!

Japan Fetish Ball’s own lovely campaign girls, mistresses will be on the event floor to entertain guests and add to the enchanting mood of this very special evening.

JAPAN FETISH BALL’s OASIS Pole Dance Unit!
JFB’s very sexy stylish OASIS Pole Dancers will be performing throughout the evening in the Fetish Lounge Space!

Japan Fetish Ball Website: www.JapanFetishBall.com
Tokyo Kink Society Website: www.TKSociety.com

Balance Your Needs

Dear Patrick,
I am having trouble with a slave who seems to have a conflict about the sort of relationship we are in, even though she signed a contract which explicitly handed over extensive rights to me. Things go smoothly enough when we are having sex, but she balks at doing the tasks around the house that I have ordered her to do. We recently had a discussion (no such thing is supposed to take place; she is only supposed to say “Yes Sir” and get on with it) about whether she could go back to school. I told her that was a privilege she could earn by three months of excellent service. If I believe she is doing all of her service, and yet seems to have some time and energy left over, then I could consider schooling as a way to improve my property.
She got sulky and let me know in her typical, passive-aggressive way that she isn’t ready to obey me fully and without question. I care for this slave very much. The time we spend playing is just really good. But having an angry girl banging pots around the kitchen and making a mess of my boots is not my idea of 24/7. Do I punish her, demote her from 24/7, or send her away with a warning that she can’t return unless she changes her attitude?
You will probably think I am a pathetic excuse for a master by asking another top about how to handle my slave, but you’ll really be amused by this: escalating our relationship to 24/7 master/slave was HER idea.
The Putative God of Her Destiny

Dear Putative God,
Oh, dear. I don’t think you are pathetic, but I do think you are getting pushed around. There are too many supposedly 24/7 BDSM relationships in which a strong-willed bottom insisted on the arrangement with a top who isn’t necessarily wired that way but goes along with it to preserve the connection. Such a bottom is rarely capable of the deep level of surrender that a “slave” offers, and will always be dissatisfied. Their “owner” is always either too strong-willed and stepping out of line by insisting on things they don’t want to do, or not strong enough to keep things going. This is a double bind situation in which the top can never, ever win.

The fantasy of a 24/7 BDSM relationship is a very popular one, and I understand why. When I am in the midst of a session, I often wish I could stay in that altered state forever. But like many fantasies, it can be surprisingly difficult to translate into reality, partly because you cannot conduct a whole relationship in an altered state. A real “slave” has to be able to keep a submissive head space during times when the “master” is distracted, at work, doing something else, sick, or baffled by a life problem they don’t know how to solve. Being a “slave” is not a 24/7 session. It is a graceful way of maneuvering through your “owner’s” life, shadowing him or her, doing everything you can to make their life easier, even if it is not sexy. You have to understand that you will not be the primary focus of your “master’s” life. They will be focused on making themselves happy. You are welcome and useful only insomuch as you become an accessory to that goal.

It also means allowing somebody else to shape the direction of your life, even the structure of your personality, and giving them the right to punish you when you get lippy, sulk, deliberately fuck up, or disappoint them in any way. How many people would you trust with that much control? I would take such a relationship structure very seriously. I would not embark upon it merely because a submissive thought it was what he or she needed. The 24/7 relationship has to be what BOTH parties need, and for the top, it is an ENORMOUS amount of work. But it is not about “my master loving me enough to provide for my needs and make sure I have what I want.” It’s the other way around, love.

I do recommend that owners periodically order the slave to make an honest report about the state of their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. For example, if a slave is becoming depressed, I would want to know. It’s an important problem, like becoming overweight, going through a crisis of faith, being angry with me, or feeling lonely. But I take a great deal of interest in the interior experience of my property. Other tops are not so psychologically oriented. As Guy Baldwin says, “In this situation, the glove has to slip onto the hand with great ease.” If being a slave makes you feel unhappy or angry, maybe it’s not the right place for you.

I realize that some people in the scene, some very competent people who I respect, will disagree with some of what I have said. Do some reading and talk to others in the scene before you make up your mind about how the ideal S/M relationship would look to you. I believe every top needs colleagues. As one top to another, I will warn you that S/M on the ground does not always work the way one is led to believe by educational literature and demonstrations at conferences. It’s not a simple matter of negotiating, playing, and feeling great.

Many bottoms are ambivalent about going under. They may know that they need a big push to get there, but they may also resent you for being capable of taking them to the point of surrender. Doing that must make you a villain, a bad guy or a dangerous woman. Oddly enough, if you give them what they want and need, they will come to mistrust and resent you. If this is what has happened to your girlfriend, you may not be able to do anything to save the relationship. But she may need to do some work on herself to understand that this is a toxic thing to do to a person who cares for her and wants to make her happy.

There is no “best” way to do BDSM. The 24/7 relationship is not superior to, hotter than, or more Old Guard than other forms. This scene offers you a lot of freedom to explore, experiment, and create exactly what you want.

So. The two of you are in a standoff. What to do? You feel that she is not living up to her end of the contract and she doesn’t want to be kept from her educational goals. If you can find a kink-aware couples counselor, they might be able to do you some good. But I would also consider de-escalating the relationship. Get rid of the contract. Go back to basics and reconnect with one another, re-experience the things that brought you together in the first place. Try to make the relationship rewarding on a scene-by-scene basis.

In the future, if you do want to try 24/7 again, and you’ve found a submissive who also desires this, set up a gradual training process. The first time you give her an order, she isn’t going to want to obey, it should be something small and manageable. Talk about it afterward. See if she can eroticize becoming a being who yields, someone who thrives on service, who wants something just because you do. If so, you may have a candidate on your hands. But never take it to the next level just because there’s some imaginary status that you’ll gain. And don’t do it because she wants it. Consult your own libido first.

Patrick Califia is a therapist in private practice in Northern California. His practice includes internet consultations as well as face-to-face psychotherapy. He is a prolific author who has published widely about BDSM and sexual politics. Patrick’s books include Macho Sluts, Sensuous Magic, and Public Sex: The Politics of Radical Sex.

This column is not intended to offer medical or legal advice. It is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you need medical or legal advice, see a doctor or lawyer!

Do you have a question for Patrick?
Please feel free to leave your comments below or you can reach him at patrick@skintwo.com

The Folsom Street Fair By Miss Maggie Mayhem

The leather pride flag has been adorning the streets of San Francisco heralding in the high holy day of the kink world, The Folsom Street Fair. Thousands of people will fill the hotels, restaurants, and especially bars to celebrate en masse our right to make our own sexual choices as consenting adults. Read more

Daikichi Amano Exhibition at Bongout, Berlin

Daikichi Amano has become one of the most exciting new visual artists working in Japan today, earning himself an international cult following. Drawing on iconography and mythology, Amano creates savage warriors, sea monsters, and devoured Sirens. He places them in all-consuming dioramas, evoking dramatic primal fears and dark desires. Explicit images follow!

Read more

Fetish Visions – art auction for charity in London

Fetish Visions is all about the fetish world doing something a little special for the cancer support of Macmillan Trust – with ALL profits of this event being donated. To find out what they are all about check out their site at www.macmillan.org.uk

The art world does a lot for the fight against cancer but the fetish world always gets left out. Mainly because we are treated as being seedy and pornographic. But cancer doesn’t choose its victims by how they lead their life or their interests… so why should the fund raisers?

Fetish Visions is putting on an auction of art, photography and other items that are based on the fetish/erotic life mixed up with a party/club feel with known DJs and a few drinks.

We also hope to find donations of clothing and other such things. But all comes to those who try their hardest and a little luck… so please get in touch with donations. We want to raise as much funding as humanly possible. “Just to show the fetish world does come with a heart”. Be you a photographer / artist / performer / clothing & equipment retailer or a fan / follower of the life style WE NEED YOU!

If you can attend or bid by phone/computer that is just as cool. Visit our website for a full list of items up for auction: www.fetishvisions.co.uk

The date we have is Sunday 27th September 2009 and the venue is something special – the White House in Clapham.

DJs include
The *Ting*
DJ Zynthexia
Anthony Dean
Pathfinder
Pablo b2b Kris Noble
+ Live vocals by STACE

For more information or queries regarding advance bidding, or if you wish to make an advance bid on any item you see on the “Auction” page, please email bids@fetishvisions.co.uk.

For general enquiries, please email info@fetishvisions.co.uk.

Please join our Facebook group – Fetish Visions
or visit our Myspace page at www.myspace.com/1066a

Sunday 27th September
The White House, 65 Clapham Park Road, Clapham, London SW4
2pm – 11pm, auction starts at 4:30pm

Tickets are available at only £5 from www.moreonthedoor.com
All proceeds go to The Macmillan trust

Fetish Fantasy Fashion of Mercedes and Gen

Combine villainous comic book characters with Lucha Libre masks and a high end rubber and leather fetish. It would provide you with something like Mercedes and Gen’s Fetish Fantasy Fashion. This self-published hard cover photo book features expensively constructed, fantastical works of art thought up by the couple.

Very much inspired by John Sutcliffe’s Atomage Magazine, and his The Avengers creations, and by Robin Archer’s notorious Wasp costume, featured in Skin Two, expect to find very complex and detailed masterpieces finished in all sorts from leather, vinyl and latex, to studs, spikes and chains; and of course, paired with worryingly high stilettos and menacing boots. Read more

The Proper Dominatrix

Dear Patrick,
How do I tell a real dominatrix from someone who is merely trying to get a few hundred pounds out of me? I’ve had such a hard time finding a relationship with a dominant lady that I have been willing to offer “tribute,” but I want fair value. I’ve been in some pretty odd situations lately, with women who promised full dungeons, for example, who had nothing of the sort. Or the usual idiocy when somebody sends you an attractive, youthful picture, but in person they are obviously ten or twelve years older. I am usually so keyed up that I go ahead with the encounter, but I’d really like to find someone who understands the submissive male and won’t lie to me. Even in a kinky relationship of a limited nature, that seems like a bad beginning to me.
A Genuine Submissive

Dear Genuine Submissive,
Laws regarding commercial sex vary a great deal from one locale to another. In some jurisdictions, the legal system does not pursue action against BDSM establishments. However, you should always be aware of what the laws are in your region, and be aware that I cannot advocate that you commit an illegal act.

Unfortunately, there are a handful of sex workers who believe they can charge more and do less by appealing to the pervs. They don’t have any deep knowledge of our scene or any respect for it. Unless you’ve got a specific fetish for having a prostitute rough you up, this isn’t—as you point out—the ideal setting for a genuine submissive. You need a new strategy to weed out the frauds.

I think part of the problem is that your desires are in an uproar when you make these visits. To put it another way, you don’t always set out to see a dominatrix when common sense is in charge. I believe commercial domination works best when you find somebody who is (a) physically attractive to you, (b) highly skilled, and (c) the operator of a safe and sexy place for scenes. Instead of looking for dates when you are horny enough to go blind, devote some time to meeting a domme when you are not in a frenzy. Explain that you are looking for someone you can see on a regular basis, and ask if you can pay for an hour of her time, to meet, have a conversation about what you like, and see her space.

The phonies will not want to do this. But a well-established and knowledgeable mistress will probably be relieved to meet someone with good manners and common sense. (She may also charge a lot more.) Arrive on time, be neatly dressed, and don’t stay longer than the time allotted—unless she invites you to do so. Keep her contact information on hand so that when the moon is full, you already have a safe place to be locked up. For your own good, of course.

Patrick Califia is a therapist in private practice in Northern California. His practice includes internet consultations as well as face-to-face psychotherapy. He is a prolific author who has published widely about BDSM and sexual politics. Patrick’s books include Macho Sluts, Sensuous Magic, and Public Sex: The Politics of Radical Sex.

This column is not intended to offer medical or legal advice. It is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you need medical or legal advice, see a doctor or lawyer!

Do you have a question for Patrick?
Please feel free to leave your comments below or you can reach him at patrick@skintwo.com

TWO Fun Parties from The Firm

One of my favourite London clubs is The Firm. For those who don’t know, it’s a sort of “Carry on Perving” set-up for deviants with a sense of humour. If you can imagine Sid James spanking Liz Fraser, you will love it. If you are too young to know who they are, you will still love it. The Firm is responsible for a riotous annual boat party, caning contests, a fetish boxing ring and more fun fetish foolery besides.

20 Years of The Firm
London, Sunday 4 October 2009 3pm – late

The Firm is 20 years old, and they’re holding a birthday party! Come and help them celebrate, with as many whips, slaves, toys, dommes & masters as you can muster! Come prepared to play and party ’til late in the their own Barnet Bastille, complete with classroom!

Dresscode: Kinky, stylish & perverse.

Advance tickets are £10 from The Firm, 13 Riddlesdale Avenue, Tunbridge Wells, Kent, TN4 9AB (Cheques payable to Ishmael Skyes) Also from Zeitgeist, Holloway Road, and online at www.joannalark.com

Decent spread supplied – bring your own alcohol.

The Barnet Bastille is located just off the Great North Road, near Barnet Odeon, EN The full address supplied on tickets, or by email on the evening of Oct 3rd, by request.

Night of the Cane
London, Saturday 21st November 7pm – 2am

This is essentially for fans of corporal punishment. Girls of both sexes may wear gymslips and white socks. Teachers of both sexes may wear gowns and mortar boards and carry whippy canes.

The evening will include school classes, boxing ring, teaching workshops, Annual Caning Competition with celebrity judges, and something yummy to keep everyone’s strength up.

Venue is The Cross Kings, 126 York Way, Kings Cross, London, N1 0AX

Advance tickets are £20 from The Firm, 13 Riddlesdale Avenue, Tunbridge Wells, Kent, TN4 9AB (Cheques payable to Ishmael Skyes) Also from Zeitgeist, Holloway Road, and online at www.joannalark.com

Enquiries: ishmael.the-firm@blueyonder.co.uk

There’s more information about The Firm on their website: www.the-firm.org

Tim Woodward

Patrick Califia’s New Weekly Advice Column on SkinTwo.com

Patrick Califia is a prolific author who has published widely about BDSM and sexual politics. Patrick’s books include Macho Sluts, Sensuous Magic, and Public Sex: The Politics of Radical Sex. For us, Patrick is simply the top writer on BDSM. He combines knowledge, intelligence, common sense, good humour and a healthy dose of lust. Read more

BDSM and Personal Limits

Dear Patrick,

Does an agreement to engage in BDSM play also constitute an agreement to have sex? I recently had a date with a married couple, both dominant, who seemed just fine when we had a coffee date to set up some limits. I enjoyed the scene very much, but then, while I was still in bondage, the husband proceeded to try to remove my panties and get his hands in there. I told him no, repeatedly, and he laughed and said he liked a bit of resistance, but I was really being a pain. He bluntly told me that girls who like to get spanked, etc., always want to get off as well, and he’d never had any complaints.

His wife was watching the whole interaction, which confused me even more. If another woman is approving of what he’s saying, in the back of my head I guess I began to doubt my own limits. I stuck to my guns anyway and got out of there, but he was pretty angry with me. I basically grabbed my clothes and got dressed on the stairs on the way down. I don’t want a return engagement, but it seems pretty clear he is doing this to other girls. I am a relative newcomer to the fetish scene, and he seems to have quite a good reputation, which is one of the reasons why I agreed to do this with him in the first place. Ever since then I’ve felt quite dirty, as if I did something wrong, and I haven’t been eager to set up another play date. – Scamp

Dear Scamp,

It is my personal understanding that an agreement to get tied up, paddled, etc. is NOT permission to provide sex to the top, especially if the bottom is physically restrained. The law looks very dimly on that sort of thing. It’s called rape. And if you throw in all of the kinky sex, I have no doubt that a top who did this would find themselves in jeopardy of a jail sentence.

However, I also find that assumptions about whether every BDSM session will include sex vary a great deal from one community (or even circle of friends) to another. So I always recommend that you specifically mention genital sex when you negotiate. If you do not want to mix sex with SM, say so – and make sure the other person will be satisfied by an encounter with that limit. If you might agree, but want to have a separate conversation about it when the SM is done, that’s just fine. Some people require sexual stimulation to be able to enjoy SM play, and they need to mention this as well, to be sure the top is comfortable providing it.

This guy obviously enjoys pushing people’s limits and breaking them. Shame on his wife for standing by while another woman was subjected to this coercion! He probably gets away with it because his victims are frightened and ashamed. They say to themselves, “Nobody would believe I didn’t want sex after all the other things I’d done. He’s already established; I’m a nobody. Even if I told other people, they wouldn’t believe me or wouldn’t be able to stop him.”

When our community was smaller, we had some success with policing ourselves and ousting people who didn’t play nicely. (That had its own problems, as people were sometimes stigmatized just because others didn’t approve of their style of play.) Now, the community is so large and decentralized, it’s difficult to get consensus about a problem or deal with it.

This is why every novice should try to find a mentor, or at least a friend in the scene who is more experienced. You need at least one person you can tell about this who can advise you and comfort you. Of course you feel reluctant to make any other dates! This one was traumatic. I feel so angry when vulnerable people are exploited by egomaniacs who seem to lack a normal conscience.

I will also suggest that sometimes on the first date it is NOT a good idea to allow yourself to be placed in bondage that is so complete, you can’t get out of it. I know being genuinely helpless is a major turn-on for many of us. But you can consider that first date the top’s audition. People ought to have to prove they deserve your trust before you place your safety in their hands. Think about what sort of extra limits you might need in order to resume play. It’s okay to ask a trusted friend to be present in the next room, you know, as a sort of “spotter.” He had his wife—you should have had an advocate as well.

Please feel free to write again if you are having trouble getting over this. I can at least assure you that most tops would be horrified by behavior like this, and would never put their hands on you without permission. These people are not really BDSM players; their proclivities are ugly and beyond the pale. They are predators using BDSM style and language to conceal their real agenda.

This column is not intended to offer medical or legal advice. It is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you need medical or legal advice, see a doctor or lawyer!

Do you have a question for Patrick?
Please feel free to leave your comments below or you can reach him at patrick@skintwo.com

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